Category Archives: when sparks collide

it’s when life is exciting, when life is hard, or when life is changing. it’s when we struggle, when we celebrate, or when we triumph. it’s when we cry, when we laugh, when we hurt, sing, play, shout, kiss, rejoice, listen, connect or love. it’s when sparks collide.

mom life.

heidi grace scraopbookingA friend recently told me that life is a series of little adjustments.  Every once in a while, someone says something so simple, but it guides you towards True North…this was one of those such truths.  I have spent the last 4 years completely and whole heartedly dedicated to my daughters. Along the way I have made countless little adjustments moving toward being super present and deeply in tune with each of my truly divine girls. My four little women each have a diverse bank of qualities to be fostered, individual needs to be met, and  wonderfully unique natures to be celebrated.   This time has  been the most influential moments of my life to point. There is not a moment that goes by that I am not grateful for the privilege of having the resources to spend this time with them. It hasn’t been a cake walk, and sacrifices have been made to honor my desire to raise them with my full attention. In the months to follow I will share what I have been working on to grow as a mother first, and an artist/storyteller second.  On the wall of my girls’ bathroom there is a note…more like…an invitation…it reads:

To my little women,

Always champion your sense of wonder.  Express yourself with thoughtful acts of compassion, curiosity, and creativity.  Live with your whole heart. Be quick with forgiveness and slow with judgment. Laugh. Laugh a lot. Decide now that you will collaborate with love, then keep collaborating with it even when you feel alone.  Soak up every moment of all your triumphs and defeats equally, for there is always something to learn from our experiences.  Collect your own variety of beautiful and unique stories. Stay in the light, but be aware of the dark. When necessary…fight.  When it calls, and know it will, fight like a warrior poet.  Unleash the strength and courage that points to your unique True North. Finally, you must remember, you are here to enjoy this wild ride we call life.  It is all with in you girls.

With my whole heart,
















2016 truth and BIG MAGIC

one word…YES!  no, two words….YES! FINALLY!!  no, 44 words…yes! finally!! a kindred spirit has captured the very description i have been looking for to so adequately explain the fear of  “i’m not worth being creative anymore because i am stuck and in a weird funk, so i’m through.” phase i’ve been in.

reading BIG MAGIC by Elizabeth Gilbert has transformed my thinking.

i am so truly grateful! not only for her constructive dissection of the creative struggle but more importantly…her empathy! she has masterfully described exactly what i have been going through the last few years creatively with painful yet insightful detail!

i’ve only started to devour it, and already find myself reading the same pages over and over again earnestly trying to digest every word while welding it to memory!

my words have been and will always be, first and foremost, a guide for my little flock.  so i share this in hopes you will learn from my vulnerability girls!

the book outlines an abundance of fears to halt creativity.  as i read the inventory of fears,  i recognized every item listed (except one).  in fact, i didn’t just recognize them…i knew them well.  more than that…i totally face them and let them cast a shadow on my creative self.

all right here comes my Brene Brown moment!!

i have allowed my creativity to become plagued with fear of failure, expectations of perfection, and beliefs of inadequacy. its paralyzing!

these fears are real.  scary and real. fears like, my work won’t be good enough, witty enough, or cute enough. i don’t have the time, energy or resources to attain it with the exact expectations i have set for myself. i am past that artsy phase in my life.  i should be cooking, cleaning, working or mothering. i’m not smart enough, skinny enough, clever enough, cool enough…blah, blah, blah…blah…blah!!!   BLAH!

the fears are real.  but they are just fears.  you can either feed them or starve them…its up to you!

“Creativity is sacred, and it is not sacred.  What we make matters enormously, and it doesn’t matter at all.  We toil alone, and we are accompanied by spirits.  We are terrified, and we are brave.  Art is a crushing chore and a wonderful privilege.  The work wants to be made, and it wants to be made through you.”

Elizebeth Gilbert

Elizabeth Gilbert…really?!  eat, pray, love…i mean i was so moved by that work, but you have hit the mark with this one! if you are struggling with this, i would encourage you to get the book , read the words, and do the work to move through the fear.  that’s my plan!   a life made creative is enriching!  its fun, colorful, exciting, and warm. simply put…it’s what i want for me and my family.

truth: i trusted.

truth: i was betrayed.

truth: it hurt.

truth: it still hurts.

truth: it is much safer for me to be guarded, to mistrust myself and others, and to keep busy avoiding the day miss creativity comes back into my life.

wait…that’s not true! it may be easier and safer…but not embracing your need to connect with creativity hurts you every single day you don’t let her in!

stop feeding fear! he’s a nasty lot. you can recognize him, even wave and smile at him if it suits you…but don’t put your hand in the cage!

be guarded, bitter and jaded…or be confident with mindfulness…inspired with intuition…and brave with authenticity.

fortunately the soul steps in. fortunately miss creativity is forgiving. fortunately there is…courage!  she may be burried, bruised and a little  dusty, but she’s there ready to brushed off, held by the hand, and guided to live life with creativity the way she intended!!!


i love to nest.

i love to mother.

i love to write.

i love to paint.

i love to draw.

i love to craft.

i love to design.

i love to read.

i love to train.

i love to coach.

i love to think.

i love to look.

and i love to play.

2016: just do what you love heidi.

so…i’m ready to write again…

this last year has been…a…wild…ride!

i am sitting here enjoying the last lazy days of summer watching the price is right, and snuggling with my sweet gems! i was just thinking…that while i am SUPER sad i didn’t document better (thank goodness for instagram right!) i am so proud that i really focussed on living in the moment. for me, to do that, i had to hyper focus on  nothing but being.  being present, being focused on my crew, being open to feeling the stuff i have been pushing away. that is it. no pressure of business, no pressure of blogging, no pressure of fighting to get back to where i used to be, no pressure of earning (thank you ryan for working long hours to bring in the extra cash we need!) i needed to get to a place where creating art, and making cute stuff was for no other reason that simply…to create!  create it for me, for my family…or just because! it hasn’t been easy to get here.  with everything i went though with all the…you know what…whatever…i’m over it.  i’m here now…and i love it. so although not successful if measured with the standards of the old days…i have had fun!  i have been so lucky to be with our girls…to teach them, to play with them and to connect with them!!! take a look.

we did art. we did a lot of art.

we connected with animals and nature.

we played.  we laughed.  we argued, and then made up…we connected.

we traveled in the vanagon aka “the dove.”

we danced…like everyday!

we learned the joy of making and selling stuff.

we did a lot of sports.

we stood for what we believe in.

and…we got a little older.

there’s more…so much more! but for now…that’s it.  it’s been nice to have a big long break!  all that said…once an entrepreneur always an entrepreneur!  we (and when i say we, i mean we, as in the whole family…because that’s how i role now) have taken the opportunity to start a new business and we are SO excited!!!  it’s not something i ever thought i would do…but i actually can’t believe how excited and grateful i feel!!!

i will be sharing more very soon!  here’s a hint…





the most creative kids in the world!

girls-doing-arti am so proud of my girls!  they are all imaginative, bright, and confidently creative!  we do art everyday…literally all the time…and while some the the traditional school disciplines may take the back seat, i have to say i feel so good about it!  they love to express themselves and art is such a healthy and constructive way to do just that.

ok, so they may not  know how to add, read or write (wink, they are actually super smart)…but it’ll be ok, because they will be the dreamers, the music makers, the inventors, and the explorers.  my girls will learn how to climb mountains and then paint the sky!

they created these amazing pieces of art when given the phrase, “the world would be a better place if…” for an assignment and art contest.

here is their work:

reagangrowloveby reagan kress

grow love

“i believe the world would be a better place if people could plant and take care of trees instead of cutting them from forrest and rain forrest to build things like stores and large cities.”

irealandsanctuaryby ireland kress


“i believe the world would be a better place if people did not kill animals to eat.  i think it’s bad to kill any animals.  it hurts their feelings and they feel pain.  i love animals because they are friends.  they deserve the same love as a human gets.”

irelandspeakpeaceby ireland kress

speak peace

“the world would be a better place if people expressed our feelings with our words instead of actions like angry actions and fighting.  that is violence.  those things would be better worked out with words.”


by paisley kress

lions and tigers

“the world would be a better place if people would not be rude to tigers and hunt animals for taking thier fur.”


on being grateful for now…


i woke up before the family today…the house was quiet…

my day began.  i walked past the book room and saw calico critters spread across the rug. i glanced in the front room and saw art supplies all over the table. i quickly sneak a look out over the water, and realize its going to be rainy, my favorite kind of day. then i  got to the bathroom where toilet paper was draped all over the floor and toilet. i looked over at the stack of parenting and unschooling books on the fireplace mantel and wondered if i could get just a few pages of reading in.  i started a load of laundry, straightened up the kitchen (which means collecting up all the toys, bike helmets, and ballet tights, among other things, that were left from the day before).  i cleaned up a spilled bag of loom bands, wiped off the counter, and cleaned up the high chair.  i made 2 dozen gluten free banana muffins, and started on the full sink of dishes…i always intend to do them before bed, but frequently falls low on the priority list after a long day. i started to edit the music the girls chose for the much anticipated ice skating recital (reagan chose young blood, ireland chose free like a bird, and paisley chose king and lion heart) i heard the ducks tooting from the brooder, telling me they want to be let out for morning foraging. then i looked in my purse to find my phone and charge it for the day…but instead found two pairs of dirty socks (that didn’t match), a tap shoe, a spilled bag of almonds, and an uncapped orange marker…oh, and no cell phone.  that’s not all, but you get the picture.

i heard the pitter patter of tiny feet, and not before long, two of my four sweet girls were flanked at each side of me snuggling in tight and peering over my shoulder as i reviewed today’s events.  the conversation of mermaids and dragons started, and i heard the other two babes over the monitor, who ended up in our bed last night…again.  they were laughing and cooing entertained by each other.  the hunger cries followed from all parties…then the day really began…

one day i’m going to wake up, pull clean clothes from my drawers, (instead of  the counter in the laundry room) and get ready for the day.  then i will stroll by each tidy room after another on my way to a sparkling clean kitchen.  one day i will reach into my spacious purse and find a fully charged phone next to my organized bill fold.  one day i will sit down, look out over the water as i sip on a cup of tea and quietly read some meaningless novel. i can imagine that on this day, i will nostalgically listen for the pitter patter of those little feet, but all will be quiet.  something tells me that on that day…i will miss my circus of a life!

so today my heart is full as i am beyond grateful for this exciting season of life i am in.  grateful for  spills, young talk, and busy schedules.  grateful for constant motion, little sounds, and unbridled energy.  grateful for my little flock and all the beautiful chaos and unmistakable joy that comes with it!